Litany of Truths

From the belief that I am not enough…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that I am loved…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the belief that all hope is lost…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You make all things new…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From worrisome control over the future…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You have a glorious plan for my future…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From seeking my validation in others or what I do…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You created and see me as good…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From negative self-talk…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the belief that I am worthy of love…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the belief that I have to do it on my own…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You long to provide and help me with everything…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the fear of rejection…Deliver me, Jesus.

With confidence rooted in my beloved daughterhood…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From settling for mediocrity…Deliver me, Jesus.

With a burning desire for intimate union with You…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From guarding against the fullness of joy…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that true hope does not disappoint…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From self-protection…Deliver me, Jesus.

With courage to be vulnerable…Fill me, Jesus.

 

Jesus,

            I humbly come before You today with full confidence that You desire complete restoration and healing for me. I place these petitions at Your feet, to be covered in Your Precious Blood. If there is anything else You would like me to offer You today, please reveal that now. *Period of silence*

            I offer these petitions to You as a trusting child. I submit these requests to Your Most Holy Will, fulfill them as you want to, when You desire to. I believe that You want what is best for me, and I accept however it is that You will answer these petitions.

            I ask that You continue to fill me with Your truth and love throughout this day, especially in moment of weakness and temptation. Help me to always have recourse to Your presence and Spirit, my constant companions.

            I offer this, in faith, through the intercession of Your Blessed Mother Mary for whom You refuse nothing.

            Amen.

Sanctuary

The other night as I was chatting with a friend, I was reminded of a fruit from my silent retreat last summer.

Imagine this: walking into a new church, trying to locate the tabernacle so you know where to genuflect towards. Essentially, where is Jesus? I don’t know if you have had this experience, but it has happened to me many times. If Jesus would just be kept front and center, it would be easy to find Him. No searching necessary. Unfortunately, sometimes He has been placed over to the side or out of the main sanctuary, so we are left searching.

In times like that, when I walk into an unfamiliar church, I look for the soft flicker of the sanctuary lamp. The little red candle that tells me, Jesus is present here. Here He is whom you are looking for. It is almost instinctual, my gut reaction. When my eyes settle on the warm glow, my mind slows, and my heart is at peace. He is here.

Jesus is just as present within me, within you, and your neighbor as He is in every tabernacle. He is present here.

Although I am quick to search for the sanctuary lamp in a new church or chapel, I am quicker to judge and label a new acquaintance, an old friend, a stranger on the street. Dropping them into a category, into a box, because it is easy.

If Jesus is just as present in these individuals, why do I not seek Him out? Why do I not search diligently for Him, for the soft glow of the sanctuary lamp, within each individual I meet until my heart has found Him and can rest? He is there. He is always there, may we never stop seeking.

Leaving Eden

I walked away freely from something I loved dearly—-the first place I felt loved, secure, known, accepted, free all at once. 

Why would one leave such a haven? A place of great joy, refreshment, healing and growth?

Love. 

For me, this is the only answer: 

Love.

I would only give up that Eden experience for Love, with Love, because of Love’s invitation to follow Him wholeheartedly wherever He may lead—-even out of the garden. 

It was difficult at first to accept His invitation, because it only seemed to offer pain, loss and heartache. But as I sat with His invitation, holding it close, I came to see that if I turned down Love’s invitation I would be closing myself off to Love, little by little, and settling for less than the fullness of joy. I knew if I stayed, my garden would eventually wilt and fade away—-so despite the pain of leaving a place of such deep beauty, I knew I needed to follow Love’s invitation to leave the garden.

Pain. Sadness. Shame. Distrust. 

Filled my days.

“Who am I?” became my prayer. 

Isolated. Unknown.

That which once felt so familiar seemed odd, unnatural, awkward. 

I felt shattered, too hurt and afraid to offer the shards of my life to the One who could make a masterpiece from my offering of brokenness. 

Little by little. Piece by piece. 

I’m learning slowly, slowly, slowly to bring each shard—-no matter how jagged or dingy to Love. With Love. For Love.

What He is crafting with the broken pieces—only time will tell. 

A new garden is springing up.