Litany of Truths

From the belief that I am not enough…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that I am loved…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the belief that all hope is lost…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You make all things new…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From worrisome control over the future…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You have a glorious plan for my future…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From seeking my validation in others or what I do…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You created and see me as good…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From negative self-talk…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the belief that I am worthy of love…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the belief that I have to do it on my own…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that You long to provide and help me with everything…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From the fear of rejection…Deliver me, Jesus.

With confidence rooted in my beloved daughterhood…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From settling for mediocrity…Deliver me, Jesus.

With a burning desire for intimate union with You…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From guarding against the fullness of joy…Deliver me, Jesus.

With the truth that true hope does not disappoint…Fill me, Jesus.

 

From self-protection…Deliver me, Jesus.

With courage to be vulnerable…Fill me, Jesus.

 

Jesus,

            I humbly come before You today with full confidence that You desire complete restoration and healing for me. I place these petitions at Your feet, to be covered in Your Precious Blood. If there is anything else You would like me to offer You today, please reveal that now. *Period of silence*

            I offer these petitions to You as a trusting child. I submit these requests to Your Most Holy Will, fulfill them as you want to, when You desire to. I believe that You want what is best for me, and I accept however it is that You will answer these petitions.

            I ask that You continue to fill me with Your truth and love throughout this day, especially in moment of weakness and temptation. Help me to always have recourse to Your presence and Spirit, my constant companions.

            I offer this, in faith, through the intercession of Your Blessed Mother Mary for whom You refuse nothing.

            Amen.

Sanctuary

The other night as I was chatting with a friend, I was reminded of a fruit from my silent retreat last summer.

Imagine this: walking into a new church, trying to locate the tabernacle so you know where to genuflect towards. Essentially, where is Jesus? I don’t know if you have had this experience, but it has happened to me many times. If Jesus would just be kept front and center, it would be easy to find Him. No searching necessary. Unfortunately, sometimes He has been placed over to the side or out of the main sanctuary, so we are left searching.

In times like that, when I walk into an unfamiliar church, I look for the soft flicker of the sanctuary lamp. The little red candle that tells me, Jesus is present here. Here He is whom you are looking for. It is almost instinctual, my gut reaction. When my eyes settle on the warm glow, my mind slows, and my heart is at peace. He is here.

Jesus is just as present within me, within you, and your neighbor as He is in every tabernacle. He is present here.

Although I am quick to search for the sanctuary lamp in a new church or chapel, I am quicker to judge and label a new acquaintance, an old friend, a stranger on the street. Dropping them into a category, into a box, because it is easy.

If Jesus is just as present in these individuals, why do I not seek Him out? Why do I not search diligently for Him, for the soft glow of the sanctuary lamp, within each individual I meet until my heart has found Him and can rest? He is there. He is always there, may we never stop seeking.

Leaving Eden

I walked away freely from something I loved dearly—-the first place I felt loved, secure, known, accepted, free all at once. 

Why would one leave such a haven? A place of great joy, refreshment, healing and growth?

Love. 

For me, this is the only answer: 

Love.

I would only give up that Eden experience for Love, with Love, because of Love’s invitation to follow Him wholeheartedly wherever He may lead—-even out of the garden. 

It was difficult at first to accept His invitation, because it only seemed to offer pain, loss and heartache. But as I sat with His invitation, holding it close, I came to see that if I turned down Love’s invitation I would be closing myself off to Love, little by little, and settling for less than the fullness of joy. I knew if I stayed, my garden would eventually wilt and fade away—-so despite the pain of leaving a place of such deep beauty, I knew I needed to follow Love’s invitation to leave the garden.

Pain. Sadness. Shame. Distrust. 

Filled my days.

“Who am I?” became my prayer. 

Isolated. Unknown.

That which once felt so familiar seemed odd, unnatural, awkward. 

I felt shattered, too hurt and afraid to offer the shards of my life to the One who could make a masterpiece from my offering of brokenness. 

Little by little. Piece by piece. 

I’m learning slowly, slowly, slowly to bring each shard—-no matter how jagged or dingy to Love. With Love. For Love.

What He is crafting with the broken pieces—only time will tell. 

A new garden is springing up.

Why do we say "Get behind me satan"? 

Then he will kick our heels and step on the back of our flip-flops. 

I'd rather do the kicking...

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Scared to look within

knowing not what I will find.

Ways I’ve sought

lies I’ve bought

all the damage left behind.

Shame and disgust surround me

Chained by hatred,

weighted

fettered.

I cannot move up from this ground.

Liar, faker, great pretender

the voices echo and resound.

“Who are you to try,

alone you cry

no one can help you now.”

Bound and bruised and weary

failed attempts, brokenness as far as eye can see.

Hope defeated

strength spent

waiting for death to take me.

Pinprick, light, blinding

Confusion, chaos, calm

My eyes were opened

enough to see

You were here all along.

Your love had never left me.

Eyes closed. shut. clamped.

The darkness I though friend.

A protection. Needed.

But wrong was I again.

It was darkness, fear that bound me

That didn’t want me to know

of how in love You sought me

not to scold, chide, correct.

I could not see Your gentle gaze, loving heart

eyes brimming with hope

for healing.

Ready for a restart.

What seemed like foe when I was blind

I must now journey into.

Eyes wide open,

Your hand I’ve chosen

as the weapon by my side.

Litany of Love

Litany of Love

Even when I don’t feel anything----Love

Even when I feel poorly towards another----Love

Even when I don’t see any good----Love

Even when all seems pointless----Love

Even when all appears hopeless----Love

Even when I am hurt----Love  

Even when I am slighted----Love

Even when I seem empty----Love

Even when I get nothing----Love

Even when it is not received----Love

Even when it is unnoticed----Love

Even when it is forgotten----Love

Even when it is betrayed----Love

Even when it is taken advantage of----Love

Even when it is taken for granted----Love

Even when it is unwanted----Love

Even when it seems nothing will help----Love

Even when it seems too far gone----Love

Even when all seems lost----Love

Even when you struggle to be----Love

Especially when it is difficult----Love

Love and Fear

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears in not yet perfect in love." ~ 1 John 4:18

People who fear have not accepted or do not like a possible consequence of an action or lack of action they have/are thinking about taking. While love on the other hand welcomes anything that will come. It does not worry about what may happen, but trusts that God will make all things work for good of those who love Him.

Love is concerned less about what will or may happen and more concerned about what is happening now! Fear lives in the unknown of the futures, while love lives in the reality of the present.

The present is where we are now, the only thing that we have any influence over. So, as love, we too should strive to live in the present and not the future, as fear does. Live in Love, and He will live in you.

Deepest Desires

Earlier tonight I attended a talk on "Our Deepest Desires Reveal What God Hopes in Us" by Rev. Joseph Tetlow S. J. and it was very refreshing. He was a beautiful speaker, just put things in a wonderful way that was both elegant and easy to understand. While I could regurgitate his talk for you, I won't, mainly because I do not have time at the moment and because I don't think that I could do it justice. However, I have some images I created using pictures and quotes from tonight that I will share with you! Enjoy :)

Suffering of Christ

"It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human order than it is to suffer as the result of one's own free choice. It is infinitely easier to suffer in company than alone. It is infinitely easier to suffer publicly and with honor than out of the public eyee and in disgrace. It is infinitely easier to suffer in one's physical being than in the spirit. Christ suffered in freedom, alone. out of the public eye and in disgrace, in body and soul, and subsequently many Christians along with Him."

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Pope's No Dope

Last Friday at our CIA (Catholics in Action) meeting we were talking about Prayer and Almsgiving as two of the three pillars of Lent and we read this years Papal Lenten Decree. It. Was. AWESOME. I really loved it, and am going to work on integrating some of his wise words into my life and relationships to improve my contribution to the Catholic community.

I highly recommend reading the Decree, and I encourage you to set aside atleast 20-30 minutes to truly read and reflect on it. You can read the Decree here: http://www.zenit.org/article-34255?l=english

If you don't have time at the moment to read the entire thing, here are some of my personal favorites nuggets!

• "Look at others, first of all Jesus, be concerned for one another, and do not remain isolated and indifferent to the fate of our brothers and sisters. All to often, however, our attitude is just the opposite: an indifference and disinterest born of selfishness and masked as a respect for 'privacy'."li>
• "Concern for others entails desiring what is GOOD for them from every point of view: physical, moral, and spiritual."
• "It is important to recover this dimension of Christian charity [fraternal correction]. We must not remail SILENT before evil."
• "There will always be a nee for a gaze which loves and admonishes, which knows and understands, which discerns and forgives (cf. LK 22:61), as God has done and continues to do with each of us."

If you like what you read here...check out the rest of the document! Be not afraid...the Pope is human too, and he actually writes in a way you can understand!

Hope your Lenten journey is going well, and if it's less than satisfactory this halfway mark is a great opportunity to refocus!

Peace be with you all!

Do the Unusual

We are told that often times living as a Christian or Catholic in society today we will have to go against the grain. To say no to the pressures, ideals, and gods that society tries to force on us. This is not some new reality, it has been true since the days of Jesus! Check out this example:

Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect."

So, let's get this straight....we are called to
1) Love our enemies
2) Pray for those who persecute us
3) Greet everyone as if they are our brothers

What?! These tasks are not only difficult, they are down right unusual! In all likelihood, we will never hear society to tell us to love and pray for those who have hurt us, but we are called to do just that all the same!!

Maurice Davis once said, "As salt and light, we are also called to be different, for one must be different before one can make a difference."

Go, and live an unsual life!

(Maybe if enough of us live the unsual life, it won't be so unusual after all! <--That would be epic)

May We more Closely Imitate Christ

Until God ordains otherwise, a man ought to bear patiently
whatever he cannot correct in himself and others.
Consider it better thus-perhaps to try your patience and to test you,
for without such patience and trial your merits are of little account.
Nevertheless, under such difficulties you should pray
that God will consent to help you bear them calmly.
If all were perfect, what should we have to suffer from others for God's sake?
But God has so ordained that we may learn to bear with one another's burdens,
for there is no man without fault,
no man without burden,
no man sufficient to himself nor wise enough.
Hence we must SUPPORT one another,
console one another, mutually help, counsel, and advise,
for the measure of every man's virtue is best revealed in time of adversity;
adversity does not weaken a man but rather shows what he is.
~The Imitation of Christ

Silent Times

The night Christ was brought into this world by Mary was a silent one. There are no recorded words of Mary while Jesus was hanging upon the cross. What is it, besides silence that ties these two events together? Could it be that while at the foot of the Cross, Mary was thinking about how the son she once delivered is now delivering her? ~Fr. Ramatowski

"It was a labor of pain...It was a labor of Love" ~Andrew Peterson

Craftiness!!

In between hanging with the fam, seeing friends, and shopping I did manage to find time to do what I love….CRAFT!

Thursday mid-day before company came over I was checking my email and noticed that Walgreens had their calendars 50% off, so I decide to make one! Originally I was just going to use pics of friends and family and add quotes about life for each month, but then I was really digging some of my picnicked photos. So, I elected to go the picnicked photos and Bible verse route….which meant I got to spend way too much time picnicking more photos!! (Soooo addicting) I have to admit that I really love how it turned out, and am quite excited for the new year because of it!

Inspired by the Rock n’ Rollin Craft Fair Saturday morning I set to work in the afternoon and managed to whip out a hairband and clip in about 1 ½ hours or so. The headband was simply newspaper wrapped around an old headband I no longer used, and then I added the newspaper bow!

Than the bow was a little more complex, but once I covered the clip I just added another bow like the one above!

Gotta love crafting! Such a great way to spend some time relaxing while still being productive!

Be a STAR!

This past weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to go on a short, 24-hour, silent retreat at Conception Abbey with a handful of other Rockhurst students. First off, if you haven’t been on a silent retreat, get yourself on one at some point in your life. And secondly, it you haven’t been to Conception Abbey, get there at some point….simply beautiful grounds…Moving right along to the point of the post.

Saturday afternoon I found myself lying on the floor of the Basilica behind the altar, with a dear friend April, staring at the ceiling. Yes. Laying on the floor of a church staring at the ceiling….why would perfectly sane people be doing this? (well…our sanity is under question, but that is beside the point) This is why :

BEAUTY. Simple beauty is what kept my gaze transfixed upon the ceiling for more than an hour that afternoon. It was during this time, that a thought entered my mind: We are all called to be stars. And not just any stars, but her stars.

What does that even mean, to be a star of Mary? It means that you live in a manner so as to shine, not for yourself, but for Mary to enhance her beauty. It is your job to adorn Mary, to be a beautiful witness to her through your life. You shine, so that Mary, Queen of the Universe, can be seen more clearly and loved more dearly. That all who may come into contact with you will come to know Mary, who will in turn take them to her son, Jesus. Being a star cannot be a self-seeking lifestyle, but a selfless one; where you desire nothing for yourself and everything for the greater glory of God through Mary.

May you shine, today and always for the greater glory of God.

The Full Story

Sometimes, you only know part of a story and you love it. It satisfies you, you are pleased with it. But there is more that is left unknown to you. And one day, it is presented to you. And it makes you love it all the more.

That was a recent experience I had, in regards to the Serenity Prayer. I had heard, what I thought to be the whole thing until this past week at CLC (Christian Life Community), when I was introduced to the entire prayer and now I share it with you.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Everyone's Way

"I told you at the start,

my life was not complete

until I crowned it by my death.

Your 'way' is not complete

unless you crown it by your life.

Accept each moment as it comes to you,

with faith and trust

that all that happens has my mark on it.

A simple fiat, this is all it takes;

a breathing in your heart,

'I will it, Lord.'

So seek me not in far-off places.

I am close at hand,

Your workbench, office, kitchen,

these are altars

where you offer love.

And I am with you there.

Go now! Take up your cross

and with your life

complete your way."

~Everyone's Way of the Cross

Christ crowned His passion with His death. Now, we are called to imitate His way of the Cross, not in our deaths per say, but with our LIVES. We are each called in a unique way to crown our 'way' with our lives. We were not made for death but for life! Go, and crown your way with your life.

Appearance is Nothing

“Spending time alone with Me can be a difficult discipline, because it goes against the activity addiction of this age. You may appear to be doing nothing, but actually you are participating in battles going on within spiritual realms. You are waging war --- not with the weapons of the world, but with heavenly weapons, which have divine power to demolish strongholds. Living close to Me is a sure defense against evil.” ~excerpted from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Sit and be still.

RELAX in the presence of God, the source of all you need.

Spending time alone with Him equips you for the battles waiting.

In your time with God, He girds you with peace and gentleness

and places the sword of love into your hand.

Without this time with Him, how can you be prepared for what lurks outside?

The battle is real, but so is the power of love and perseverance.

Poem-ness

So, I am not one to sit around and read poetry for fun...I actually find it kind of torturous for the most part. Anyways, so this evening after saying Night Prayer ,from this handy book I scored at a bookfair (for fifty cents!), I flipped to the Appendix II and stumbled across a poem that caught my eye. So, now I share it with you :)

Lead, Kindly Light

Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
Lead thou me on;
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead thou me on.
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou
Shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now
Lead thou me on.
I loved the garish day, and, spite fears,
Pride ruled my will: remember not past years.

So long thy power hath blest me, sure it still
Will lead me on
O;er the moor and fen, o;ver crag and torrent, till
The night is gone,
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

~J. H. Newman

Do Not Fear

2 Chronicles 20: 15 --- “Thus the Lord says to you, ‘Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for this battle is not yours but God’s.’”

This verse sounds awesome and encouraging as it is, but let us dive a little farther into the meaning of the verse by dissecting it and examining more closely a few words.

fear: noun ---a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined

dismay: verb--- to break down the courage of completely

multitude: noun---great number [of anything]

battle: noun--- a hostile encounter or engagement

2 Chronicles 20:15 revised and simplified: “Thus the Lord says to you, ‘Do not allow the great number of [people/obstacles/failed attempts, ect.] to arouse distressing emotions within you or steal away your courage, for this hostile encounter is not yours but God’s’”

On 2 Chronicles 20:15, Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary states: “He encouraged them to trust in God. Let the Christian soldier go out against his spiritual enemies, and the God of peace will make him more than a conqueror. Our trials will prove our gain. The advantage will be all our own, but the whole glory must be given to God.”

Do not fear anything, for what you perceive as your battle is truly God’s. Allow God to fight for you.

Live for God and He will fight for you.

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